1) Don’t wear expensive clothes. All you care about is the rich. 

2) Don’t wear cheap clothes. You’re such trailer trash.   

3) Don’t go to an Ivy League school. Talk about nepotism. You’d never get anywhere if it wasn’t for your family.

4) Don’t go to a non-Ivy League school. You think you’re qualified to be one heartbeat away from the presidency?

5) Don’t go to more than one school. What are you, an idiot?

6) Don’t be a devout Christian. What kind of fanatic doesn’t sleep in on Sundays? 

7) Don’t say the Supreme Court should strictly interpret the Constitution. Just say you wanna bring back slavery.

8) Don’t be a woman. You’re not. You’re a Fox News Fembot.

9) Don’t be a minority. Talk about losing touch with your roots.

10) Don’t be a veteran. Yeah, we honor your service, blah blah blah…but let’s face it, you just can’t get enough of war, can you?

11) Have no experience. When are you guys ever NOT going to nominate some old, white guy? Jeez, you’re such creatures of Washington.

12) Have a ton of experience. You think we’re just gonna let ANYBODY in the White House?

13) Look great on camera. Don’t lumber around like Robocop. Jeez, you’d think you’d had every bone in your body broken by the Viet Cong.

14) Don’t look great on camera. Sure, you’re hot. So are the Playboy bunnies. And they know more about foreign policy. So stop with these cynical, calculating attempts to win the ever-elusive adolescent male vote. 

15) Fight corruption in your own party. Because the GOP is RIFE with it.

16) Don’t fight corruption in your own party. Let’s face it, you don’t care about corruption. You care about feeding your ego, running rampant over the laws of order and decorum. Who are you, Eliot Ness? Stop with the delusions of grandeur.

17) Your kids had better be model citizens. I mean if you’re so great, it shouldn’t be that hard to run a household, right?

18) Your kids had better be screw-ups. After all we don’t want Stepford children who think it’s OK to join the military. Or be Mormon. 

1)                Wear expensive clothes. You’ve earned it! Way to go for overcoming the vast right-wing conspiracy!

2)                Wear cheap clothes. Giving a shout-out to my peeps in the trailer park. What a shrewd move to connect with racist, backwards voters.

3)                Go to an Ivy League school. Because you are the smartest thing we’ve ever seen.

4)                Go to a non-Ivy League school. You never had enough money to go. You’re from the streets -- Represent!

5)                Go to as many schools as you want. You were relentless in your pursuit of education despite the _____ (racism, sexism, etc.) that oppressed you.

6)                Be a devout Christian. Best case scenario – Black Liberation Theology becomes standard Christianity. Worst case scenario -- maybe some of those Evangelicals will finally vote Dem. 

7)                Talk about how much you despise slavery. Then go ahead and call Clarence Thomas, Thomas Sowell, hey, even Juan Williams “house negroes.” 

8)                Be a woman. Yay, finally, a woman in the White House!

9)                Be a minority. Yay, finally a minority in the White House!

10)            Be a veteran. Yay, finally a veteran that isn’t brainwashed into being a Republican.

11)            Have no experience. Yay, finally, a Washington outsider!

12)            Have a ton of experience. What a wise counselor you’ll be!

13)            Look great on camera. Ooh, boxers or briefs. And he plays the sax! And dances with Ellen! And shoots hoops! No wonder interns throw themselves at him. Sigh…

14)            Don’t look great on camera. How loveable. Sure he’s tried to botox and hair plug himself into hipness, God bless him. But there’s no way around it. He’s old and wise. Like Gandalf and Moses rolled into one. 

15)            Fight corruption in your own party. Be the first to revolt when your party attempts to do anything bi-partisan…like winning the war in Iraq.

16)            Don’t fight corruption in your own party. Don’t believe what you read, Spitzer was a crusader. No matter what the Republican Party will do to him, the ghosts of the Kennedies, Daleys and Huey Long will rise up for him. 

17)            Your kids should be model citizens. With an open mind, nothing is NOT model behavior.

18)            Your kids should be screw-ups. You are everyman. You are me. I am Al Gore.

19)            Make all the gaffes you want. Because it’s about the issues, people!

As the election grows closer and the polls grow tighter, there’s been a disturbing trend to blame Barack Obama’s troubles on race. For the Democratic Party and the media (are they still getting separate mentions?) it’s a win/whine situation. If Barack Obama wins, it adds to the mythic, Lenin-esque figure we are so privileged to have elected. If he loses, it had to be because we’re all racists. Talk about your sore losers.

(If you can bear it, check out Russell Brand, the host of MTV’s Video Music Awards, as he leads the charge -- http://www.nme.com/news/russell-brand/39546)

For months, the Dem/Media has longed for a good reason to remind voters that Barack Obama is black. (Note such occasions as Obama’s worrying that he doesn’t look like any other US President or more pointedly suggesting that Republicans stir up fear in the country with such lines as “…and did I mention he’s black?”) The problem is that no one’s playing ball: the only people talking about race are the hand-wringing grievance-baiters themselves.

So now, with no cue, no occasion to unleash their moral indignation, the Dem/Media is going forward with the story anyway. As seen here:

http://news.yahoo.com/page/election-2008-political-pulse-obama-race;_ylt=AoiaqRuyqI3ldLVRz7LX3c7Cw5R4

http://townhall.com/columnists/SalenaZito/2008/09/21/race_and_the_union_vote

http://news.yahoo.com/s/politico/20080921/pl_politico/13686;_ylt=Al.p45hUnzHQkfYc0kLyn5us0NUE

Apparently when race is the topic, the country is guilty until proven innocent. Or, to put it another way, when there is a lack of evidence to prove your point – then the lack of evidence IS the evidence: 

Item: The fact that the Republicans are not race-baiting just means that they are crafty. 

Item: Obama’s numbers have stayed stable in exit polling because people are hiding their racism from the pollsters.

Item: White people, especially Republicans, see all black people as “violent,” “lazy,” and not “law-abiding.” (Though the AP is gracious enough to point out, “Not all whites are prejudiced.”)

One wonders why, in such a “racist” country as ours people would find reason to hide their racism, but let’s ignore that for the moment. 

Let’s instead focus on what has actually been proven. To be sure, the Dem/Media is partly correct – race is a HUGE issue in this election. Where they go wrong is in their conclusion – race has been a huge POSITIVE for Obama. 

Forget that 90% of black voters have voted for Obama since the primaries in South Carolina. (I’m sure it was only due to the clear policy differences he had with Hilary Clinton…cue the laugh track.)

Forget that, rather than being a bad thing, in an election year about “change”, the BEST thing for a presidential candidate is to look nothing like past presidents.

Instead let’s use Dem/Media logic. If Sarah Palin’s only qualification to be Vice-President is that she “hasn’t had an abortion,” (see http://www.palmettoscoop.com/2008/09/10/fowler-palin-primary-qualification-that-she-hasn%E2%80%99t-had-an-abortion/ for details) then Barack Obama’s only qualification to be President is that he’s black. Before I bump into Geraldine Ferraro in the Time-Out Corner (funny how I won’t see Carol Fowler there), let me ask, why else is Obama the Dems’ nominee? Because he has NO executive experience? Because he has NO legislative accomplishments? Because he’s given three good speeches? Because he’s better looking than Dennis Kucinich? Sure, he’s a great communicator, but if that would’ve have beaten Hilary Clinton, so would’ve John Edwards. 

It’s a great time to be a black politician, Barack. Because this country, myself included, would LOVE to have a black president. 

Don’t believe me? Then you must think a white presidential candidate could have survived the political catastrophe of worshipping at Trinity United for 21 years, being married by Jeremiah Wright and using his words for the title of his autobiography.  Poor Gary Hart only had an affair.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8M-kD0QdRJk

Or perhaps you didn’t see the poll where Colin Powell topped voters’ VP lists in BOTH parties, and was followed closely by Condoleezza Rice in those “racist” GOP voters’ VP list.  

http://www.boston.com/news/nation/articles/2008/06/30/powell_is_favorite_in_online_vp_poll/

Or maybe you forgot 1996, when a lackluster GOP begged Colin Powell to run as their candidate. 

“Race is not the biggest factor driving Democrats and independents away from Obama. Doubts about his competency loom even larger, the poll indicates. More than a quarter of all Democrats expressed doubt that Obama can bring about the change they want, and they are likely to vote against him because of that.”

You see? Even the AP can have a moment of clarity.  Now if they can just stop with the racial extortion.

WOLF BLITZER: With yesterday’s selection of Sarah Palin, Americans finally get a look at the full November match-up pitting Democrats John McCain and Sarah Palin against the amazing Republican ticket of Barack Obama and Joe Biden. I’m joined now by the best political team in the business, Jack Cafferty, Donna Brazile and Candy Crowley. Candy, I’m going to start with you. I say “amazing” about the Obama-Biden ticket because…can you believe the Republicans are actually stepping up to the plate with such a, well, strange couple?

CANDY CROWLEY: That is the question so many Republicans are asking themselves, Wolf. Many Republicans I talk to are stunned to be in this position. Don’t get me wrong, they are backing their man, Barack Obama, to the hilt, but the fact that they’ve had to resort to him speaks volumes about the lack of qualified candidates in the party. 

WOLF BLITZER: But you have to credit him, he’s averaged one misstep virtually every month, but he keeps bouncing back…

CANDY CROWLEY: And that’s a point that many Republicans are worried about. He is a ground-breaking candidate, certainly, being the first African-American presidential candidate for a major party. But his inexperience and, as you put it, “missteps” have many inside the party wondering if this is more a political stunt, a “hail-Mary” if you will, than an actual candidacy.

WOLF BLITZER: Though I notice he’s softened a lot of his, well, more extremist rhetoric lately. 

CANDY CROWLEY: Exactly, Wolf. He’s really trying to come across as a more moderate candidate but you have to wonder if the damage has already been done.

WOLF BLITZER: Let me ask you, Donna. If you’re the Democrats, are you just amazed that the GOP political machine is now attacking the Democrats’ VP candidate, Sarah Palin?

DONNA BRAZILE: Well, no pun intended, Wolf, but it’s the pot calling the kettle black. The GOP is running the most inexperienced candidate in history and have the nerve to call the Democrats’ VICE-PRESIDENTIAL candidate “inexperienced”? 

WOLF BLITZER: It’s a strange tactic isn’t it?

DONNA BRAZILE: Well it’s going to get them beat come November, because the American people know experience when they see it. In Sarah Palin you have a strong woman who has done more in two years as governor than arguably the entire Republican ticket –

WOLF BLITZER: Well Joe Biden’s been a Senator for a long time…

DONNA BRAZILE: Well, Wolf, if you can name me a piece of legislation off the top your head that he’s authored…

WOLF BLITZER: I’m just saying, he chairs the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, but I understand your point – I mean, when we talk about experience on the Republican side, we’re talking about Joe Biden, not Barack Obama.

DONNA BRAZILE: Exactly.

WOLF BLITZER: Jack, let me get your thoughts on the selection of Sarah Palin. 

JACK CAFFERTY: I think there is a concept that the American people need to understand. To simply back a candidate because of their gender or race is wrong.  And to be frank, I don't know why else you would support Barack Obama.  I think it's a great sign for our country that so many are willing to support an African American for the highest office in the country, but I think it's just as bad a sign that people are so easily fooled into believing he is ready for it.  We need to hold Sarah Palin to the same standard.  To support her simply because she's a woman is wrong.  But there's so much more to her than her gender and to me those are the most compelling reasons to consider her.  If the Republicans want to compare her to Barack Obama, then consider that she cleaned up a corrupt state -- including members of her own party -- while Obama accomodated, if not partook of, the corrupt Chicago political establishment, simply going along for the ride.  The great thing about Sarah Palin is you don’t have to take my word for it – you can look at her record. Contrast that with Barack Obama, he’s been in the public eye nonstop this year and I still can’t name one significant piece of legislation he’s authored and because his James Carville-esque puppetmasters keep dragging him towards the center, I still can’t pin down where he stands on the major issues.  Again, I don't blame Barack Obama for the situation he's in and I commend him on being the first African American candidate of a major political party.  But I do blame the Republican machine that is willing to irresponsibly hand over the reins to such a novice at this time in our history -- when we have two wars and a struggling economy.  It smack purely of politics and of no thought for the consequences.  At a certain point, and I can only hope it is before the election, we are going to get tired of his vague, feel-good generalities and his nonstop rhetoric trying to convince us that the United States is on the brink of annhiliation –

WOLF BLITZER: Kind of a glass is half-empty philosophy –

JACK CAFFERTY: Again -- the blame lies with the Republican party. To arrogantly assume that one black man is as good as another and try to artificially break the presidential color barrier by simply nominating an African-American when there are infinitely more qualified candidates – both white and black -- out there shows a dangerous lack of judgement.

WOLF BLITZER: Well, Jack, I think the Republicans would argue that it was the voters who chose him over Hillary Clinton in the primaries, it wasn’t the decision of the Republican machine –

JACK CAFFERTY: And that’s what so disturbing, Wolf. To think that so many people in the Republican base could be mesmerized into backing an empty suit, simply on the basis of race…

DONNA BRAZILE: That’s right, Jack. It’s not about race, it’s about philosophy. And Obama’s philosophy is squarely at odds with most African-Americans I know –

JACK CAFFERTY: That’s assuming we even know what his philosophy is.

DONNA BRAZILE (laughing): Well I think it’s “To Get Elected,” Jack.

WOLF BLITZER: And the attacks on Sarah Palin?

DONNA BRAZILE: The height of hypocrisy. To attack a woman that has accomplished this much so soon is laughable. As a woman, I find it incredibly sexist to demean her accomplishments like this. 

WOLF BLITZER: Well Republicans could rightly argue that Hillary Clinton almost became their presidential nominee and I think, had she been the nominee, they still would attack Gov. Palin the same way, wouldn’t they?

DONNA BRAZILE: Again, it’s not about her sex, Wolf, it’s about her philosophy and her accomplishments. The Republicans can keep trumpeting Hillary as some sort of groundbreaking candidate, but the fact of the matter is, this is a woman who rode her husband’s coattails to a Senate seat where she treaded water for eight years until she ran for president. Gov. Palin outworked, outsmarted and outperformed the competition her whole life. She has earned each rung of the ladder she’s climbed. If there’s a groundbreaker in this race, it’s her.

JACK CAFFERTY: And if we’re going to talk about making history why don’t we talk about this President – a President who has had the most diverse cabinet in history, including back-to-back African-American Secretaries of State? I think you could argue that without George W. Bush, we might not even be talking about an African-American presidential candidate.

WOLF BLITZER: OK, we’re out of time for now. My thanks to the best political team in the business, Candy Crowley, Donna Brazile and Jack Cafferty. Next, on the Situation Room – with energy being a key issue, does picking the Governor of Alaska make McCain-Palin the perfect ticket? Back after this…